I have done that thing where I don't think my meds are not effective and weaned myself off them....big mistake. Perhaps you should go back on them and try a new one.

It's wonderful that you have a spark of wanting to try some new things....hold onto that knowledge that you do. And keep looking. Perhaps some kind of internship or apprenticeship will come up.

I also was in a job that didn't feed my soul. It made me an empty shell. You will find your niche. But even then, remember that you can try lots of things...