Sophie'smom is correct, you most likely need to get back on the meds that kept you in a more level & positive place.
I am guessing that all your hard work to save for your own future and betterment is bothering you too. It was kind of you to give it all to you BF but he must know that you are now feeling stuck. Can you talk to him about replenishing your account so you can do something for yourself? It was a loan not a gift right?

There is a website here in the states, yes, Oprah.com with good advice, good distractions and things like Dr Phil who has a "what do you really want?" game you can do to help yourself sort out what is the most important to you.

Sorry you are having this struggle right now. But to me, you sound very capable and able to focus on what is important.

I always try to imagine myself on a path; the past behind me, me partway toward the goal, still on the path, still working out the details to get where I am going, but always going forward, even if only a little sometimes.

Wishing you only the best as you work out your own details to find what you really want for your life.