Thanks for your input, guys. I feel so alone in this hell. When I was in my twenties, I had depression so severe that I couldn't get out of bed and go to my job in the morning. It was humiliating, and I ended up in the hospital. I have a great fear that will happen again if I get this job (just not being "able" to go). But what is the alternative? Staying home, spending endless hours on the computer and doing household tasks. Not really a way to live one's life. I used to be a productive, well-functioning person. What the hell happened?