Today has been a really bad day. My pills aren't even helping anymore. It all started when I dragged myself out of bed, got ready and left the house. I knew I should have stayed in it would have been better. I went to meet a friend for lunch(trying to do things like the doctor ordered) waited for my friend for an hour before giving up! Never texted me or anything! That got me upset. I had lunch myself. Walked around for 3hrs myself before meeting up with a different friend. In those 3hrs I cried a lot! All because everything reminds me of my ex fiancé! (He couldn't cope with my depression so broke up with me) I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. Have babies with him and now I've got nothing. Everywhere I turned there were happy people, couples and babies! The toilet attendant must have thought I had the runs with the amount of times I ran to the toilet(to cry) I am totally lost. Since this morning all I've thought about is not being here anymore. I wish I didn't exist. I can't stop crying and just want to stop feeling this way. I feel for my friend who tried to cheer me up, she just couldn't and I felt like I was bringing her down so told her I had to go. I just want someone to hold me