There is a point. I do not know what it is but there is one.

Sounds like you are grieving the loss of your fiance and that has triggered depression. Break ups are the hardest thing especially when it is because someone could not accept you the way you are. I have been through that. Lost a two year relationship that was the healthiest I had ever had. But then my depression hit and she just couldn't handle it. Then she told me she didn't want to spend any time with my daughter like just the three of us. That hurt. She did that before she finally broke it off. I know it was really because of my depression and that hurts to the bone.

Give yourself permission to grieve. There is no time limit on it and you bounce all around like a ball between the different stages of it.