When they say the first year of marriage is the hardest they aren't kidding. I want to stadt thoufh by saying I have no plans to leave my husband, I married him for better or for worse and he's put up with my worst. He is a loving man who cares deeply for me and my child. We are expecting a baby in May and since the pregnancy things have changed drastically. Startig out in our marriage I was newly diagnosed with epilepsy. It was hard to take and being unmedicated it made things even more difficult leading to mr quitting my job. I was in school full time and workig full time with my medical troubles I had to choose between school and work and my husband and I agreed it would be school. Once I got peegnant my husband was new at his job and seemed to be doing well there so we decided I would keep goig to school while he worked. Business got slow for him and ultimately he lost his job. I had to go back to work while still in school full time. I ended up failing three of my classes. I lost the job because of the epilepsy and pregnancy and it took four months for my husband to get a job. We were selling everything and even tried to sell my wedding dress. Sold all my jewelry including my engagement necklace from my husband. Things were hard, really hard.
So finally my husband finds another hopeful job. Things were looking up again. For two months he was working and we were able to catch up on bills by the second month. At the same time my husband was getting upset at work wanting to quit. I begged him to stick it out until he found something else but the next day he quit, the moment we got our tax return. That was five weeks ago.
In the last five weeks he has filled out about 10 applications and dropped off his resume at about five places and that's it. I tell him about jobs and he finds thigs wrong with it. He hasn't looked for a job online even in over a week. I'm now 31 weeks pregnant and can't get hired anywhere. Every day I mention him applying but he tends to blow it off.
To top it all off the epilepsy is complicating the pregnancy. If I have a seizure while pregnant it could cause serious problems. Last monday I had a seizure but didn't realize at the time but knew something was wrong. My husband had to pick something up from a friend so I asked him to please make it quick as I didn't feel safe being alone. He said ok and left. On the way back he called saying he was running home to grab his guitar, that his friend wanted them to play some music. I have always felt second string to the guitar where my husband is concerned so naturally this really upset me. I needed him there for me but he chose to be with his guitar. I brought this up with him and he apologized and said he would take it easy on the guitar. Not what I was asking him to do but I thought if he could do that maybe he could put me first.
That was nine days ago and since he has gone out and played with his buddies three nights but has not so much as filled out a job application anywhere. He sleeps all morning and will help wih some chores but I do 99% of the cleaning. He has been waking up wih my daughter more so I can get some sleepand carrying heavy things, even did the dishes once. But its already so much to do around here keeping up with the cleaning and he sits back playing the guitar and sleeping. We are out of money and have been spending my daughters birthday money to get by and he seems to be ok wih it and ok with going back to selling everuthing we own. I am not ok with that. I just don't know what to do. He is my best friend and everyhing else about our marriage is perfect, I just feel... strrssed, woried, alone...
Advice? Sorry for the typos.