Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. I really wish I had some advice. When my husband and I were engaged, he lost his job. I was trying to go to school full time, work three jobs, and plan our wedding. He was extremely depressed over losing his job. He had been depressed because of working there, and then even more depressed when he left. Before he lost his job, I'd drive around picking up applications for him because both of us knew it was going to happen. He even got offered a job as a bank teller and turned it down for something else that didn't pan out. We racked up a lot of credit card debt. I felt like there was no control over anything, that I was the only one concerned, and that I was the only one working and the only one cleaning the apartment. Luckily, he likes to cook so he at least would do that. I eventually ended up losing all my jobs, taking incompletes in all my classes, and basically had a break down.

But you know what? We survived. Eventually, he got his butt in gear and he found a job. And after a few months there, he found another, very well paying one. That huge weight had been lifted and we got to go back to being us again. Yeah, it was hell, but we proved that we could make it through something that most married couples can't survive (I'm not saying yours won't). I wonder if your husband is feeling depressed and out of control himself and burying all the negativity in his music? That doesn't excuse his behavior. But can you sit down and really talk all of this out? You said he apologized and would take it easy on the guitar, but it sounds like he didn't really understand what you were asking? Can you maybe bring him into T so you guys can really discuss this with someone there to help? I wonder if he's having trouble adjusting to not only being a husband, but now a father too? I know you said he's raised your daughter like his own, but I feel like he may have different anxieties when it comes to his own flesh and blood? Does your T have any advice for you?

I really think you guys can make it. You've talked a lot about your relationship with your husband in the past and he really seems like a caring and loving guy -- just like my husband who just happened to make a few poor employment decisions. I think the best you can do right now is vent all you want here, try to have calm discussions with your husband, and focus on your health and mental well-being for the baby. Hopefully he'll eventually realize how important this is and how interconnected you are as a family.

Anyways, I hope some of what I said was helpful. I know our experiences are different, and yours is much more complex with a baby on the way. But keep pushing forward and try to take care of yourself the best you can without getting too stressed. I really hope it works out for you guys.