Mulan,
I cannot find a reason. I think there is not a particular meaning to be alive. One has to create one's particular meaning.Not having a reason to live does not mean I will kill myself, not having a reason does not scare me. What scares me is anticipating how much pain I will have in the future. And when I get overwhelmed and have so many problems and little or no help at all. But, again, I am numb and cannot make a list, I do not know if this is wrong or not