I just can't stand all this anymore. It's too damn overwhelming especially not being able to do anything about it. Here I am trying to keep myself together and trying to help my son. They have narrowed it down to rapid cycling bipolar disorder or high functioning autism and he is only 4 years old. My poor guy has these episodes and does these horrible things and then comes to me an apologizes saying he is so sorry and he doesn't know why he does these things. I feel horrible because I can't help him and he feels horrible. We are two months into a six month evaluation by Kennedy Kreiger and I just can't wait for this to be over soon enough so maybe I could get him the right help.