I am sitting here thinking about how much I dislike my life. I really wish I didn't have to do this anymore. I mean it's the same damn thing every single day. I have two children with ADHD and anxiety disorder. My daughter has ODD and my son is either has high functioning autism or rapid cycling bipolar. My kids need extra help all the time and I usually have all the patience in the world for them which means I have absolutely none for anyone else. With all my physical health issues and mean to health issues i feel like all I have been doing lately is treading water and I am tired and ready to drown. I think about how nice it would be to go to sleep and never wake up but I am single mom and all they have. I do know for an absolute certainty if I did not have kids I would od on heroin so face and just end it all. Sometimes I wonder why God intervened the past times I tried to end my life because I just didn't want to suffer anymore. P