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Old Mar 20, 2014, 03:54 AM
angelicgoldfish05's Avatar
angelicgoldfish05 angelicgoldfish05 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 582
Once when I took a bunch of drugs at a festival I was convinced that my (now ex) boyfriend was going to get gassed and die in the shower. He went to take a shower in the makeshift showers and I was high on drugs. I was so scared I don't even know how to tell you how scared I was. It was all from learning about the holocaust. Truly horrific. The horror of the place I went to in my mind must have only been a fraction of what it must have felt like to actually see the holocaust and live through it. Did you guys learn about it in school? How masses of people thought they were just going in to take a shower, and then instead of water coming out, they just got gassed, and were killed. It is the worst horror I've ever come to learn about I think.

Well when I am in a really stressed or (manic/psychotic break, flashback from drugs, whatever paranoid place) I go to this fear and it becomes so real it is the most scary thing ever. I think that I'll get gassed and die if I take a shower.

Other times, more 'normal day to day times' when depressed, I will only take a shower if I have to or if it has been really pathetically too long and I'm so sick and tired that I just have to make myself do it.

Other than that, just saving the earth, saving water when not depressed or not crazy manic/psychotic/paranoid/whatever it is
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DX: Bipolar Disorder, MDD-recurrent. Issues w/addiction, alcohol abuse, anxiety, PTSD, & self esteem. Bulimia & self-harm in remission