Ugh the delusions and the fact that I felt compelled to TELL people about my magical thoughts and experiences. And knowing that they were humoring me all "oh um okay. How interesting" while knowing I was off my rocker. And I completely believed my brain without a doubt in my mind. I thought that crazy **** was true and it makes me feel had by my own brain and it makes me feel like such an idiot. Cringe

And acting like a mean and crazy ***** in front of people. Especial people who have no clue about my illness like my in laws. Like storming out of the room and slamming. The bedroom door and not being able to come out all while everyone is having dinner together etc. oh my. Oh dear. Cringe

And I agree with the depression stuff. I try to tell myself it is an illness and not my fault and I need to take care of myself but I feel so embarrassed when I can't do simple stuff or drive and or just behave like a normal person and so much falls on my husband.

The crazy *** rambling texts and emails to my poor friends.

CALLING THE SAME PERSON OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL THEY ANSWER. Now that is embarrassing......