I agree with marmaduke. The more you cater to her, the more attention you pay her, the less motivation she has to change. Plus, if you are working on yourself, if you can get some psychological distance, you will be amazed at what you learn. You will change, but she will stay in the same place. That will make it easier for you to deal with her in the future. In the meantime, dont underestimate the difficulty of the job in front of you, to learn how to truly be yourself, accept yourself, fulfill yourself. Putting her on the shelf will not automatically make everything easier. It would be nice if she could see it, but for some reason, she cant. Dont let yourself be defined by her limitations.