Hi Everyone!! I'm new to this particular forum but am glad that it is here. I'm struggling with an issue that has been present in my life since my earliest recollections--I was born a genetic male but have wanted to be a female for all of my life.

I remember being maybe 4 or 5 and begging, crying, throwing tantrums because I didn't want to be a boy--I wanted to be a girl. My mother indulged me for most of my young life, letting me wear girls' clothing, painting my fingernails and toenails and have my hair long and in ponytails or pigtails until I had to start school. The transition was horrible and I still remember the pain of being made to play the "boy games" at recess rather than play with the "other" girls. I crossdressed whenever I could throughout my life.

I deliberately went to college in a cooler climate so I could wear sweaters and boots during a lot of the school year, underneath which I usually wore bras, panties and pantyhose. I plucked my eyebrows as narrow and grew my fingernails as long as I could get away with and kept my legs and arms shaven until I just had to wear shorts and short sleeves.

These periods were also interspersed with periods of extreme guilt and self-loathing. I used to pray every night for God to either let me wake up fully female the next morning or let me never want to be female again. Neither happened, of course, but it was all I knew to do.

There are years and years of this struggle I can relate but that isn't the purpose of this post. I just wanted to introduce myself and make contact with people who either have had to deal with the same issues or, at least, are sympathetic to the issues. I'm open and more than happy to hear from anyone who might need a friendly ear as well as lend one. Thanks for listening...so far.