This may sound cold, but I think at this point she is just trying to leave her 'options' open...and I'm pretty certain the new guy doesn't know she's 'trying to make it work' which gives all the intimation that it's NOT working and therefore she's 'trying'. I'm willing to bet, he hasn't got a clue she's even messaging you.

That said, she might be, in the back of her mind, reconsidering. But that would be conjecture and borderline mind reading, which I don't do, and I doubt you do. I know you still have feelings for her. I do think, however, for YOUR good...you should at least try to step back....give YOURSELF the breathing room, not her.

With BPD we tend to wrap everything up in what's best for OTHER people, and then if we fail, or succeed but then get emotionally trashed by the person we've struggled so hard to support, we're lost. Which is why, the step-back, should be about you....not her.

Time will-out eventually. It always does. Take care of you, for now. If there is to be a 'both' then you'll have a better idea of what will make it work, if you go into it more complete within yourself than you are now.