I stayed home sick today from work because of my needle stick injury yesterday and the ARVs I have to take. Luckily the side effects haven't been nearly as bad as what the ER doctor told me. But the meds plus having a cold left me with no energy, and feeling mildly depressed and very flat. I stayed in bed until almost 1, then got up and moved to the couch and stayed there until 4 doing nothing. Then I went and saw my T and now I'm home.

The session with my T was not very productive. I felt like we were talking, but not really getting to anything important. So that was a little frustrating, but I was having trouble connecting to anything real. All week I've felt like I'm a couple of steps away from what is happening around me, and not fully participating in any of it, so that's exactly what my therapy session felt like. My therapist wants me to ask my pdoc what behaviors I would need to demonstrate for her to reduce or discontinue my medications. I would love to be off meds, but my pdoc says it's a bad idea and therapist is in support of giving it a try. I would like to try to come off with medical supervision, but that would require convincing pdoc to try it. My T and pdoc would disagree on just about everything, and I agree with parts of what they both say, and I disagree with parts of what they both say. I know for certain that I don't want to be as heavily medicated as I am now for life, but I want to be smart about coming off so that I stay OK.

I feel like a broken record talking about the same stuff over and over... sorry for that, and thank you for reading.