My advice - for what little it is worth - is look up the terms "transference" and "counter transference" in a therapeutic context.

It's difficult ethically for me to "give advice," so please understand that this is coming from me to you as a "peer" and not anything else.

Therapists are trained to examine their feelings and behaviors relative to their clients and to seek guidance / supervision from other professionals when therapeutic relationships seem vague in terms of boundaries. Also, we're supposed to address issues such as these with our clients when it seems appropriate.At the end of the day it is our fondest wish that in the least amount of time needful, you won't need us anymore.

"Getting better," in the context of mental health and therapy at its best, implies an outcome wherein you simply do not need us anymore. Where you learn whatever it is you need to, and come out of the process equipped with new "tools" you can use in future without us.

Our goal, at the end of the day, is supposed to be to do as little as possible / necessary in order for you to help yourself to be whole, not to start a romantic or [other] personal relationship.

In that hour, on that Monday of every week, YOU are the focus of that professional's entire world and attention, but it's because you are a "consumer" who "presented" for help, not because it's personal. If it gets personal then it's no longer all about you.

My advice... worth nothing since you paid nothing... but still, since I'm here and you asked... is not to buy your therapist a card saying "sorry." My advice is to discuss with your therapist any emotional attachment you may perceive as developing in yourself, him / her, or your relationship. It's important to understand that these sorts of things happen in the course of therapy and are not uncommon, but they can interfere with positive therapeutic outcomes.

Remember - artificial relationship, all about your needs not theirs. All about helping you to become stronger, more able to cope / deal with life / circumstances... all about achieving a therapeutic goal and appropriately terminating therapy.

If a therapist were a miracle worker, therapy would last 15 minutes and that would be an end to it. The point isn't to draw it out - nor to engender emotional attachments between the client and the therapist. The point is to help you help yourself... to teach... to empathize... to listen and to be there for you... during that hour... during those weeks of hours... those months of hours... however long.

At the end of the day though, good therapy is about therapeutic goals, milestones, assessment of progress that isn't just "so how do you feel about that" and eventually an end to treatment.

This isn't because HMO's say, "Oh, you have depression, that should take 12 sessions and a referral to a psychiatrist for medications." It is because the whole point is to help you to make yourself "better" - to help you live a "better" life... on your own... without us.

It's not because we don't "love" our clients (although who can "love" them all). It's because we're HEALTHCARE professionals and to cross boundaries or drag out treatment is not only unethical but also against the law (in terms of billing for services not needed is fraud).

Get what you need from this relationship in order not to need it... THEN END IT!

Think of therapy like chemo for the Soul.

You do it when you "have to," but you stop once you've dealt with the presenting problem (mental cancer) and achieved your goal (remission of "symptoms") by learning new ways to cope / deal with life / "the presenting problem."

If you see it as a long and enduring relationship that will always be there for you, how will you ever stand alone against what the world throws at you?

Yes, you can always go back for a "booster shot" when needed! don't think I'm not saying you can't. But what I'm saying is... well.... artificial relationship; all about you; with defined boundaries beyond which we cannot go and which, if they interfere with your progress, we / YOU should address.

Good luck and good health.