Quote:
Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl
Right now, I don't even know if I feel any connection with my T anymore. It's like I feel the fence springing back up between me and every other human being again. This is how it always is. Somebody comes along and for a while there's no fence, and then they see something in me which makes them recoil, and they click their fingers and suddenly I'm on the wrong side of the fence again.
I don't know where to go with this anymore. I take everything too personally, but its either feel it or shove it away, and I'm supposed to be not shoving away, but feeling it is pure ****.
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Disappointment like this stings, and can feel like rejection even when it isn't. You described the special disappointment you felt in light of hearing about plans for an exciting project. Maybe you're feeling excluded from a wonderful experience? I think it wouldn't hurt to describe how all of this is affecting you to your therapist. Although painful moments can be part of the process, The 'project' of working on and developing your therapeutic relationship with her might end up being far more exciting and personally rewarding than any old PA project.
