Good morning,

I am so sorry this "arrangement" came back to bite u in the butt. Your therapist created this mess. Can u imagine what kind of pain u would feel six months down the road when it all went to hell?

There is still a chance for you to salvage your therapeutic relationship. If u had taken the job, it would have been worse.....hard to imagine. I have never seen this type of set-up work and I'm old.

My biggest concern is your feeling of guilt. My first interaction with a therapist, there were so many boundary issues crossed I felt as if I was in a different country. It was so painful when things went to hell. It was a total re-creation of my dynamic with my mother. I felt so much GUILT for letting it happen to me. Guess what....the onus of the mess was on her, yet she allowed me carry the guilt.

My first therapeutic relationship was destroyed. It took me several months before I could even sort my feelings out. I wrote a three page letter to her and enumerated the ways she failed me. My last statement...."if I ever hear of you violating boundaries with another client, I will take you before the state licensing board and I would wear her license around my neck".

We were in a university setting and I knew exactly who to go to who would shut her down within system. She never responded to my letter. I saw her several times at workshops ect. and there was never a word spoken between us.

Please give the guilt back to her. I think you feel very hurt for what feels like a setup. The guilt belongs to her for even suggesting you work with her. I think I would write a thank you letter to the office manager.... not now, perhaps later when you regroup.

Regards,

Sabra