I really don't know I have terrible impulses at the moment especially whilst driving. Outwardly with other people I am kind of outgoing, inwardly screaming. I keep going from super tired to very sparkly. Usually I am very reserved on Facebook and such but today I have been joining in, I want to explode . All these conflicting moods are like sand paper scraping down a wall. I am a bit afraid that I'm going to act on my darker impulses but I don't get why? But I am taking my meds again as prescribed even though I don't want to. In-fact I want to shove them down my H's throat and see him choke which I know is wrong because he loves me and want's me to be "well". I just feel so violent which is not how I am. Constantly thinking of all the people that want stuff from me and I am just soooo ANGRY at everything. I want to explode and tell people they are taking the piss as they all want my time for free. I have been working non-stop for 4 years to keep my business going I haven't had a wage in all this time. Still everyone wants me for free.
I am really not sure how to be with myself, this is hard.I am worried about "wreckage" I feel like I may do something I can't come back from.
I guess I should grab some ice and distract.