I can relate to hesitating to come out and say something like "I am depressed." I grew up in a family where they didn't have much tolerance for what I was feeling. I felt like I had to "act normal" and hide the signs that I was depressed or not doing well in some way. Anger was a big no no. Anxiety was perfectly fine and encouraged though, only it was considered being cautious. I was thinking about suicide at 9 years old, and through adolescence I had thoughts about running away to a place where I could get some mental health treatment because I knew I was not doing well, but also knew that my parents didn't want to hear it.

The first year that I was away from home, my roommates could tell that there was something wrong with me, and told me to go to the student counseling center, which was something that I couldn't initiate because I had grown up being told that I didn't have any problems and shouldn't bother anyone, and had no reason to want any help from anybody. I couldn't sleep. I wasn't eating. I didn't want to be alive. I didn't enjoy anything. I was very severely depressed and had been probably since I was 5 or 6 years old, but it was normalized so I didn't feel justified in saying that I had anything.

The therapist at the student counseling center concluded that I was "just homesick" and told me that I just needed to get married and I would be fine. I remember how specific I tried to be in answering the questions, like he asked if I was sleeping significantly more or less than usual, and I was not able to sleep at night but I was tired all of the time and crashed during the day, so I added up hours and compared to me previous sleep schedule which was pretty unhealthy and answered, "no." If he asked "do you feel depressed" I probably said "I don't know" or "I don't think so" because I didn't know any different and I didn't think that I could diagnose myself. I was good at appearing to be functioning okay, so he couldn't tell that I had serious problems. It took a lot of years before I could recognize my problems and get any real help.

The thing is, professionals can't tell what is going on in your head and how you feel unless you tell them. And it's okay to say that you feel depressed or that you have anxiety. Hopefully they ask about symptoms such as asking if you feel sad, cry a lot, have trouble with sleep, how is your appetite, do you feel guilty or worthless, do you have trouble with getting going and doing things, do you enjoy the things you do, and do you think about death. One question at a time of course.

Some people go in for an intake or assessment and already know what they think is wrong. Others might just know that something doesn't seem right. The ones who think they know what their diagnosis is are not always right, but it is okay for them to say what they think and the therapist can ask them more about it and explain why they agree or disagree about the diagnosis. Professionals are trained to know about disorders, but the best expert on you and your experiences is you.