Thanks for that,it's very helpful I am going to talk this out with my fiance too he always is able to help me get over my fears,and insecurities I Would have been talking it with him already but i needed to get it all on a forum so i can be calmer.i want to be able to talk to him and others calmly about this so i don't make him worried. Thank you for listening. being 21 with these 'problems' makes things so hard at times.