Sometimes, people come to these kinds of forums, not just to see if someone can relate to what they are going through, but to help them see clearly.

If you are in the middle of a bad situation and cannot see the forest for the trees, it helps to get the opinions of others. Sometimes you're too close to a situation to recognize danger.

I think that you need to consider your children first and foremost. If you do, then you will see that the very first thing that you need to do is remove them from this toxic situation.

Then you can help her, IF SHE WANTS IT.