I know that ending a life wont help matters. I know it would be hard for my kids. I guess I am just at a road block, I keep hitting them. My last post was not a suicide post by any means. Yes, I think about it everyday and I try not to. I am just getting by at this time and struggling to do so. The self abuse is what helps get me by. The sadness is taking over, I do not want to go for help. I can't at this time. This may be hard to understand but because of the divorce and custody issues that I am dealing with, my health records will harm me if I get help. My ex is going after all of my records. If I reach out for help, it will be recorded. I have a mental health worker, but have not seen him in a few months, I never made it to my last appointment. This is my fear. I know in my heart that if I do not deal with this, I will be in serious trouble. I know I am going under. I am truly scared of what I am doing to myself but I do not know what to do at this time. Thank-you to everyone who reads this and those whom have responded to my last post.
Elizabeth