Interesting, that we both reacted to survival differently. Perhaps that is due to our inherent individuality. \One of the things that affected me greatly was that I spent my recovery on a medical ward where I was between two patients dying of cancer, both were suffering inordinate pain and were very close to the end, but they refused to give up living; for the husband of one of these patients this was the third wife he would lose to cancer. I would gladly have given my life for either of these women to live just a few more days or weeks. I was acutely aware that my desire to die would seem selfish to these women and their families, but neither judged me. I took just a few well chosen words from a doctor to "burn" this experience into my consciousness as the grief that my family would suffer if I killed myself.