i guess there are many different kinds of love...

Kohut (sorry to go on) talks about how people have three different (though related) needs with respect to emotional intimacy:

- idealising. feeling safe and secure in the presence of a benevolent and powerful (or all good) other.
- twinning. feeling like an acceptable part of humanity because of how another person is like you in certain respects.
- mirroring. another person taking pride in your achievements and looking up to you and admiring you.

and peoples needs change at various points though most people are either primarily need someone to take the idealising transference or someone to take the mirroring transference. depends which need was frustrated most as a kid...

i guess idealising transference is most important to me. sometimes that can turn into an erotic transference (maybe that is what you meant by love). i'm ever so grateful that i don't find my therapist particularly physically attractive (though i do find his body type fairly attractive in the sense that he is taller than me and fairly solid and i'm well above average height for a female. though perhaps the solidity comes from idealisation, i'm not so sure lol).

i've read a bit of stuff on erotic transference (so yes it happens often enough for people to write about it). sometimes therapists don't like to talk about it / acknowledge it because they feel uncomfortable and there are all these worries about 'major league malpractice' (i.e., sleeping with clients). but more stuff is coming out on it now.

one theory was that erotic transference was a way of regaining control over the therapist (because the therapist has more power than the client in virtue of the nature of the relationship. i.e., the client has to be vulnerable and talk about their issues whereas the therapist does not).

another theory was that it was part of the idealisation.

i guess both could be true at different times. i fantasise about my therapist a little... but if he tried anything IRL i'd run away screaming (all the way to report him for misconduct). but... i'm fairly sure he is trustworthy in that respect...