I have thought about this quite often. Lately, I have been taking a lot of baths. But I don't actually 'bathe' when I take them. I mostly just lie back and relax. Sometimes cry. Mostly just hope they help ease the physical pains I've been getting as of late. I rarely actually bathe or shower to get clean. It's not even that I don't want to. I always felt small when people pointed it out, and I knew that I should. I just never 'felt' like it. If I was depressed, it required too much effort. When stable, I just... didn't. And when in an elevated mood, it didn't cross my mind (still doesn't). I have gone days.. once even weeks... without showering. And brushing my teeth? Forget about it.

I have yet to develop a satisfactory answer as to why I seem to avoid showers (and similar hygiene habits... you should hear how often my mom yells at me about brushing my hair... she sometimes reminds me 10 times in one day before I finally do so just to shut her up). The closest I've come is realizing that I hate monotony. Monotony often triggers a depressive episode. Showers become monotonous. I like the idea of having a different shampoo, soap, etc. I might have to try that.