You do hate me, don't you? You are tired of dealing with me. I was just too stupid to see it before. How do I always make the worst choices when it comes to dealing with other people? I hate myself right now. I tried to let you see me for who I really was, and you insisted I wasn't too much for you and that you didn't dislike me. You promised not to go anywhere and you were supposed to care. You have not responded to anything I have written to you outside of sessions in the past two weeks. It would be one thing if you talked to me about it and explained why. But this is something entirely different. You insisted I could text you. You said I could trust you and that you wouldn't leave. And now when I need you, I am alone and you have abandoned me.

I am sorry for being too much to handle and for causing you to hate me. I am sorry that I am such a terrible person that I contaminated even you. I know you aren't a bad person, so I only have myself to blame. I bring out the worst in people. It's all my fault. I should just run away from it all. I am obviously fatally flawed and broken, and I will never be able to overcome my past. I am too needy and I run everyone off. I cause everyone to hate me because I deserve it. You don't even know everything yet. I can't win. I will always fail. I am toxic and poisonous to the people around me and will never be able to have good relationships. I hope I die in my sleep tonight.