For years now I've been really confused about this.

Whenever I talk to people they all seem to have goals in mind, but I don't. That's not to say that there's nothing I want to do, but my attitude is like "If it happens it happens, if not I'm fine with that too." There is no drive, no motivation to really pursue things because it really isn't of life-defining importance to me.

People also tend to have interests they're really passionate about. I do have interests, and I'll sometimes do things with those interests, but there's nothing that I'm into to the degree others seem to be. For example, when I see sports fans going nuts I can't understand that at all. Not because I'm not into sports, but because I never experience such strong emotion. Or other examples, like when someone pours their money into building an old car, or spending many hours a day practicing piano. I don't get why they do it, my interests just aren't that strong.

Whenever I say this people always say "Maybe you're depressed", but I don't feel at all depressed. I actually feel pretty satisfied with most of my days, and imagining 50 more years of doing the same thing doesn't cause me any stress or disappointment. I like my life. It is calm, peaceful, and I feel pretty free.

However, this is a problem because since I lack any major interests, real goals, or motivation to pursue the things I do like, there is even less motivation to do the things I don't like to do. This has a negative impact on my financial situation. From the time I was a child I struggled with this. My teachers always used to tell my parents that if I'd just apply myself, I could have straight-A's. It just never mattered to me though, and that didn't change as I grew up.

There have only ever been a few things in my life that I put a lot of effort into, and I just can't understand why I have such a hard time caring about what we're supposed to care about.

It even extends into my personal relationships. I put absolutely zero effort into relationships because they just don't matter to me. Even when I'm isolated for lengthy periods of time I'm never bothered by it, whereas other people when alone like that describe sinking into deep depressive states or feeling like they're going crazy.

In the past it was suggested that I may be schizoid, but I was never officially diagnosed or anything. Honestly that would make more sense to me than anything, but I don't see what the point of going to someone when my issues aren't about myself, but rather my financial state.

I guess I don't really know where I'm going with this. I've tried motivation tools before, and deadlines/penalties/punishments, but none of it has made a difference.