I work for a security company as a security officer at a crappy post, so for someone like me, who suffers from social anxiety, work is pretty much Hell everyday.
I've only been with the company for about five months and it's been driving me insane ever since! I have to wear a ****** uniform that never fits and of course I always have to follow the protocol for how to dress. I can never seem to get this right for some reason because my ******* supervisor messed me up at the very beginning (supposed to have patches that says I'm security).
So every time inspection drops by out of the blue to say hello I'm threatened to get written up.
Two weeks ago I DID get written up because I called off three hours in advance instead of four (four is protocol). HOWEVER, I didn't know I was going to break down and slit my throat so I had to call off with the excuse of a "family emergency" and that I couldn't spare the details at that time, but NO! My supervisor wanted to know the details and I couldn't provide it because I wasn't sure if I would get laid off for being suicidal and unfit for my job. So he decides to write me up and even goes as far as to try to take away some of my days. I have bills to pay dammit! (I should mention that I do NOT work full time, only 29.5 hours, and that I'm struggling with my lousy pay right now).
Tonight, inspection wanted to drop by again and why is it that every inspector is haughty and stuck up!? I could only sit there having a panic attack while he stood there with his papers and pen, trying to look all superior because he's a textbook ****ing definition of American Security!!!
I feel like walking off the job and just phoning my supervisor to tell him I ****ing quit, but I CAN'T because then where would I be???
Dammit! I just feel so stuck...