i don't think so.

i've heard... that negative experiences can be relived in a couple of different ways.

one is to transfer the qualities onto the t. so... when you feel worthless (devalue yourself) do you experience your therapist as trying to be punative or to belittle you or to minimise your thoughts or your feelings or rejecting of them?

if you experience your t in that way then that would be a negative transference.

othertimes... instead of transfering those qualities onto your t you can attribute those qualities to you. if people in your past belittled you / were punative etc then you can internalise that (as a 'negative introject') so that your superego has those qualities. hence you can feel worthless etc because of all the things your superego says ('you worthless piece of crap' etc etc).

i don't think that latter counts as a negative transference.

i guess i'm all jumbled up and confused between:
- negative introject (so i feel really ashamed and embarrassed about telling my t certain things because i give myself a hard time about having those feelings etc)
- negative transference (so i think he is incompetent / can't handle the nasty stuff inside me / will fragment if i share too much etc)
- positive transference (so i think he is just wonderful)

part of me plays the role of the negative introject...
and part of me holds the negative transference...
and another part of me holds the positive transference...

and i'm just confused / ambivalent really.

i've heard that sometimes people can have an intense positive transference and really struggle with shame around such feelings as anger and the like. so those hostile feelings get repressed. sometimes it can be about fearing that one will destroy the therapist or be rejected by the therapist if those negative feelings are expressed. so the person represses anger and the like and maybe hauls in the negative introject to help keep the anger and the like in check / repressed.

but that eventually the time will come when the frustration / rage / anger surfaces. and t will be experienced as sadistic or demeaning or incompetent or whatever. and that can be worked through.

if you weren't allowed to express negative emotions as a kid then that can take a while.

someone or other said... that part of working through the oedipus complex (which occurs at a LATER stage than the pre oedipal security issues and seperation individuation) is that one tries (figuratively) to kill the parent and... that it is important to see the parent survive that onslaught.

otherwise one can worry that all the stuff inside one... simply can't be tolerated or lived through by another human being (hence one must repress it and live in shame that it is there and that one is so unacceptable).

resonated with me slightly... but who knows ;-)

oh... and that sometimes... idealisation... can be a defence against anger.

i found something online about anger and this therapist was talking about his interaction with his 6 year old daughter. they were on holiday together (on some islands somewhere) and he wanted to go visit all the beaches and explore and she wanted to stay in the hotel room and play with her dolls. for three days they sort of fought about it. she refused to comprimise. if he made her go with him (after allowing her to play for a while) she would complain the whole time.

then he said... when they were in the car and she was being sullen... he said 'i love you very much and nothing will change that but sometimes i hate you'. and he looked at her and smiled to see she got it. and she said 'sometimes i hate you too daddy'. then she smiled. and then... she stopped complaining.

not quite sure what to make of that but... seems anger / hate / frustration is a normal part of the human condition and there are appropriate ways of expressing / communicating that that can increase intimacy (and decrease shame and the like). bizzare, huh. i think it takes a while (and a lot of hurt and confusion and repression and explosion etc along the way) to get to that...