I can't be mean to the people around me. I don't have the heart to do so. A major part of my past abuse was being teased, and it causes me to shut down and not respond at all. I feel completely beat down and worthless whenever someone teases me.

And I also can't handle criticism from people who don't know me well. I feel like bad mistakes make me bad and so I end up believing that all they see about me is bad. And so I believe I am terrible and horrible and should just run away from everyone.

And another fear of mine is abandonment, which is what I am feeling from my T.

So basically, yesterday was a triple whammy of triggers and deep fears all happening at once, all while I am exhausted and worn down, and while I have a lot of stress going on. I am not over it yet, and I think I will have a terrible day today, too.