I'm sorry yesterday sucked so much and that today doesn't look better.
I finally watched a video that had been making the rounds on social media, it's called "removed" about a kid in the system. I think the title has many layers of meaning, but so does the video. The reason I mentioned it was that someone's statement about reacting or acting in what is construed as hurtful way stems from the past. It's kind of a reflex action that looks harsh but really is just a desperate bid to have someone see past the icky and still say they care. The little girl in the video portrays that very well. It's a potentially triggering video though, so only look it up and watch it if your are in an ok enough place to do so...
but that lashing out or pushing away to hide how desperately we need to be shown love and compassion is quite common... sometimes we just need someone to handle us with "kid gloves" to prove the whole world doesn't suck. (I think my t may hate me for that...)