I have an ex-husband who I am convinced used me for his green card. He laid on the love heavily and once we were married, he completely changed. There were warning signs, yes before this, but he had a way of drawing me in with his seductive apologies and promises of a happily-ever-after. He turned out to be abusive . I think he is a sociopath, as the lies that constantly spew out of his mouth with insidious confusion, blended a hand in my spiraling out of control into my own madness. I will never get over how this has hurt my children. I am so completely and utterly bewildered at how I could have fallen for this and in turn, hurt them so much.
I came to find out after divorcing this pathetic man, that he possibly had a family on the side, complete with kids! I still have not uncovered the total truth. I hired a PI to help me get to the truth, but he ended up just scamming me. I think me and my children deserve the truth. I'm afraid of trusting another PI.

I always thought I could never forgive this man. Ever. Yet, when I felt safe enough again to embrace and come back to God, I was able to see how important forgiving really is. I had zero chance of happiness if I didn't forgive.

Because I truly feel this man is a sociopath, I had to realize that he knew not what he has done. It is an illness, something I think he cannot help.

I have major depression and I know there are things that I can't help doing. I was born this way.

For this reason, I was able to finally find empathy for this man. Don't get me wrong, I want zero to do with him and I would never put him anywhere in my or my children's present life. He is dangerous.

I found a huge 'release' when I was able to let go and forgive. I let it go into Gods hands and it was the best thing I could have done.

God , if you believe in him commands us to forgive those who harm us. It is a tall order for sure, but I now understand this concept.

I also had a pretty bad father. I was able to finally forgive him as well.

I can only pray that someday, the ones that I love so much in this world that I have personally hurt, can forgive me. Not for my sake, but for the sake of their own souls.

I don't think we can truly move forward in life if we hang onto bitter unforgiveness. It doesn't mean to also 'forget'..... the only freeing part is letting go and truly forgiving. After that, I think distance is likely another key part of healing. Not to allow yourself to be placed back into more potential harm. Unless that person is truly striving for change, and demonstrating true, heartfelt work towards a better relationship, then its best to remain distant and pray for them to search their soul and finally do the right things in life.

I don't think sociopaths are capable of changing.....so yes, I will never re-open my heart to that man. That door is closed and locked shut. I forgave for my soul to be free, not for his sake. I hope that makes sense.