Hi Ashley, to me you're putting into really descriptive, meaningful words the feeling some people can find it really difficult to describe.
I know depression can be so isolating, suffocating and seem inescapable, but it can sometimes be about holding on to any connections as much as possible........and.........we're here for you!! , feel for you, anytime you want to talk...........a bit more about what's going on for you (?).........
Alison