Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
I have / had lots of musician friends, girlfriends, a boyfriend, a short little fling guy, etc. Most men thought not all - straight, same for women. I find it hard to believe that things have changed THAT much in 25 years. I mean - yes, there is a higher percentage of gay men in ballet and music than population-wide, but that all guys in your school would be GAYYYY sounds hard to believe. Maybe things have changed so much in 25 years - quite possibly they have - but the only problem I had with musicians is that my main composer boyfriend would not be willing to put on music during lovemaking, because, as he explained, music would have made him fully concentrate on the sounds to the point at which he would have been unable to make love to me. In other words, music was even more important than I was to him. It was a little disappointing right when I heard it, but later I realized that this is just how his mind worked.
Other than that, pretty much every musician I know now, and they are famous people by now, accomplished being in their 30s and 40s (those who have survived without killing themselves...) are straight.
On a completely different note, getting male interest out of guys who are otherwise known to be gay feels like a big accomplishment. It happened to be only twice, and it is not that I was after it, but when if it did happen (verbally without physical follow-up), it felt quite good, the way getting an A+ on a really tough, challenging exam would have felt. So don't completely rule out gay guys - you never know.
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My school has an unusually high amount of gay men even for music standards. The composers tend to be straight but odd. The jazz musicians tend to be straight but taken or not attractive to me for whatever reason. The classical instrumentalists and singers tend to be gay. The composition and jazz department is quite small too. The whole school has less than 1000 people.
Uh I would never be able to listen to music during sex and it isn't because I value music more than everyone. It's because my brain is not wired to listen to music passively. I hear music, I'm conscious of it even when I'm doing something else. I listen to the words, harmonies, melodies etc. I can't turn that part of my brain off and asking me to do so is a little unfair. So I don't feel like being unable to have sex to music means you were less important to him.
"Otherwise known to be gay"... that seems a little disrespectful. They are attracted to other men. Not women. That's who they are. Maybe they are confused and are actually bi but that isn't my prerogative to assume that. I believe them and I accept them. I'm not saying they are rumored to be gay, I'm saying they are out. I get lots of "attention" from gay guys because gay guys and fat straight girls for some reason just seem to click. But I am friends with them not because I'm hoping they aren't actually gay and I can get with them, I'm friends with them because they are good people. Well obviously not all of them but the ones I am friends with are. I'm also not attracted to them. Well one of them is pretty damn hot. But I'm attracted to men who are more masculine than effeminate. I'm not saying all gay guys are effeminate but a lot of them at my school act and dress rather stereotypically. That's fine but I'm into guys that at least seem like they might be into what I have to offer.