Well its over now. There was something about our layoffs that I kept from her for weeks and yesterday something compelled me to tell her the truth and as it was to be expected, she did not take it well. She says that if I had been a real friend to her I wouldve given her a heads up about the layoffs despite the fact that I was told not to because that is what friends do for each other and that is what she wouldve done for me. And she is right.
But I feel so horrible. Because now I lost her friendship forever. She even deleted me off from her Facebook and her daughter's. I guess what bothers me most is that she sees me as this horrible two-faced person that never cared a bit for her. But I always did. Too much Id almost be willing to say. Obviously I made alot of bad judgement calls, but hurting someone was never my intention. Especially hurting someone that tried to do so much for me. I just wish she could see that for what it is but she refuses to believe me because I guess I really am the horrible person she thinks. Maybe it is difficult for someone to truly "be that nice".
I guess the only "solace" is that in two weeks I wont have to see or speak to her anymore ever. I will try and only focus on the good memories and try to be kind to her during the time we have left. Yes she made me really angry this morning and I sent her a message about it when I realized what she did, but I guess it is what it is. She read it and didnt resond so I guess she is wipping her hands clean and I have no choice to do the same. Even if it hurts me.
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