Oh yea, I almost forgot to add to my other post- When I was about 25 years old I had a community mental health therapist say to me (I swear this is true) "I am surprised you haven't committed suicide by now." I am now 60 and alot worse things have happened in my life and I am still alive. It made me question if it was the will of God or the Universe to have taken my life. I sometimes wonder if he was giving me instructions.