Hello All,

Kinda new here, I had an account a long time ago but lost the password and what not. but I suffer from depression as a 32 year old fastly approaching 33 year old man. I see my psychologist as much as I can afford to and even with health insurance frankly I don't make enough to see her and that makes me feel just as bad. I've pretty much isolated myself for most people after I realize they are users and fakes, the few real friends I have live miles away and have families and lives and I try not to call and burden them whenever I feel low. It's just a common courtesy that I have. Not many people know I suffer from depression I have an older brother who has a worse case of it than I do. he's my closest friend but I can't talk to him because he's is a bad place mentally and I don't want to add my crap to his.

I've been feeling very alone as of late, dead end job, the family I do have picks at me for my depression and the misfortune that I've gone through as of late, everything is funny to them or basically they just don't care. It's some deep rooted family issues I can say that much. my love life well, I'm a Taurus and we're known for being soft-hearted but caring. I believe in treating people the way I want to be treated but instead my kindness gets taken for weakness and these people get mad when I finally defend myself. the most recent female I was seeing said to me, because she saw my depression meds that "I hope these aren't crazy pills because I can't deal with you if you're crazy." that's the reaction I get if someone hears the word "depression" as though I'm an outcast but I didn't confirm her doubts I said no they weren't and shortly after asked her to leave. to the few I've ever told I dealt with depression they all ended up saying I was weak because of it, and after dealing with family and friends picking at you about this issue, the last thing you need is someone you may care for saying it too.

I'm tired and frustrated and I'm feeling very alone, and starting to feel like no one cares, does this happen to anyone else or am I just a special case???