I wish I had understood better when things first started to go badly, more than a year ago. She gradually started withdrawing from the kids and myself, and then started doing nothing but texting. She would leave a room to get the kids' clothes for example, and twenty minutes later I would find her standing in the other room just texting away. I reacted very badly, not even thinking for a moment that it could be something not quite under her control. I criticized her at every turn, and made her feel terrible. Then when in the early Fall it all came out and I found out about the sexting and the guy in Egypt and all that, it suddenly clicked into focus for me. We immediately stopped fighting over petty things and I gradually ended up doing all the housework and taking care of the kids.

I wish there was a way to get that time back, but there isn't. I've been telling her that, if she decides to come back to being in a monogamous relationship with me, I am only looking for a chance to rebuild. Each time we get a little closer, it feels like we might be on the mend, but then she will say something like "could you get him a visa to work in the US?" and I am devastated.