Sounds stress related to me, rather than anything to do with the med. Your grandmas illness most likely triggered you into this state. You need to put your coping strategies in place to get through. Perhaps try journalling before making any big decisions, weigh up the pros and cons etc. And if you cant control yourself with money get your bf to keep all of your cards and give you a cash "allowance". Try some calming techniques to get you thinking more clearly. Goodluck.