sweepy this makes complete sense to me. I have arguments with her in my head bunches of times after T . and could it also be that you are projecting all your anger about your past on to her . I don't understand how that works a lot but my T says I tend to do that some when I think she is angry at me. wonder if it is the same kind of thing.
I wonder if you see her as causing all this pain by bringing all these memories to the front to deal with also.