Choosing to not spank a child does not mean that a parent is left with nothing but permissiveness. There are loads of more effective discipline techniques than spanking. Parents don't have to spank in order to teach children discipline, self control, respect for others, respect for self, etc.

The use of natural consequences such as .. if a child causes a disturbance at the 1st grade school lunch table which results in another student's milk to spill all over her and her lunch .. The natural consequence is that the guilty party has to accompany the milk splattered classmate to the nurse for cleanup. And then has to offer his/her lunch to replace the ruined lunch. And finally, has to obtain a mop and sponge to cleanup the mess. I guarentee you that a 1st grader who has to make amends in this manner will not likely cause another disturbance at lunch. Some would argue that it is necessary to give that child "a good spanking" to prevent another disturbance. But at what cost.

Having to accompany the milk splattered child offers the opportunity for the guilty party to see the full brunt of his/her actions on the other. Plus, the opportunity to appologize. The loss of lunch might be uncomfortable but is a "natural" consequence.

That is just one example of an alternative to spanking. And it does not equal no discipline nor does it equal permissiveness. I feel very strongly about this and the example I give actually happened - the guilty party was my son. He never did that again. Previous adventures in the lunch room resulted in the lunch staff sending him to the office and a phone call home. I finally got the behavior plan inserted into his I.E.P. and got the school staff to agree to this approach for the "next" time - because I knew there would be a next time. After the school staff took this approach with my son .. they were amazed and very pleased with the results. They take this approach often now.

sorry to ramble on - I just feel so strongly about encouraging adults who deal with children to be more open to treating them like the treasures they are by helping them grow into responsible and loving persons who do the right thing.

We don't teach math or reading by spanking (thank goodness because I stink at math). Why would we teach social responsibility by spanking.