There was a time in my life, not so long ago, when I was passionate about music, movies and all my other interests.

Now, my heart says 'go watch that movie', but my mind says 'what's the point?', My enthusiasm for things I love is being sucked out of me by some kind of 'leech'. Deep down inside, I know I love doing something, but something stops me. I have a guitar, I spent every day and night, jamming on it, it was my favorite thing to do. I refuse to even look at it, now, it's just sitting there, all alone. It's broken.

All I really do these days, is curl up in my bed, sleep and hope time passes. The longer I sleep, the better. "Wow I slept for 4 hours, so I guess that means there's 4 less hours to deal with". I get up off my bed, and I think 'I'm still a little sleepy, maybe I can knock off another 2 hours of my day if I go back to bed again', and I do. That's it.

I hate mornings, I wake up everyday, and wonder 'where's my life going?', and there's a voice in my head that answers my own question 'It doesn't really matter, nothing matters'.

I eat my breakfast, my lunch and my dinner, because I guess I can't live without them, and I go to sleep. I don't even eat the food I want to eat. My ambitions, my passions, my hope, they've all gone. Vanished. I'm on autopilot.

oh look, another month is coming to an end. Wow, can't wait for next month to end too, and the one after that...

motto of my life is 'whatever'.