This sounds like you're punishing yourself for enjoying having T in your life, or you're working out of a fear-based approach to your therapy. Both are toxic and will hurt you. Why can't you bring up the fact that you feel like you contact him too much outside of sessions? It might help to have him reassure you and insist that what your feelings of attachment are normal.

I think when we're used to fending for ourselves (in whatever sphere...practically or emotionally or in all ways or in just some) it can be exceedingly hard to recalibrate the new feelings of depending on somebody. It feels wrong and dangerous, but that doesn't always mean it's true.

I know for me, relying on my therapist a lot has actually made a noticeable change to how I am with friends. I am less afraid of being vulnerable with my friends now (still intensely hard and uncomfortable at times, I'm still very much a novice..) and I actually allow my friends to be there for me. Without feeling weak or terrified that something bad will happen because I've let them see how sad or scared I am at those particular times. My friends have said that they want me to let them in, they want to help me. On a cognitive level I always would have known this to be true, but I had to learn to depend on my therapist before I could take that leap of faith and extend it to my friendships.

Hi Mactastic - oh I love your screen name :-)

My response my differ a little from what the others have said - but know I am not invalidating their responses in any way!
But what I want to say is this:

GOOD FOR YOU!!
I think this is actually more of a positive post than many - or even you - may realize. I think your experiment is great. It shows strength, willpower, the desire to be independent, the desire to be free from the obsession you describe. I think you are brave and courageous and you should be proud.
BECAUSE:
It seems your ultimate goal is to lead an independent, self-sufficient, free and good life. And it also seems you have realized the ties that the emails, the dependence, have restraint you with. You already know you can live without this dependence you have done it for 10 days. And you are still here, you are still strong and even though it might be VERY difficult for you, the best way to try to look at this is to be proud and pleased with yourself - rather than submitting to the danger, that the lack of email will become a huge issue in therapy that then might push you back into the same patterns and you won't feel good about yourself again.
Yes, perhaps the reasons for not emailing so much are because you don't want your therapist to think you are obsessed with him - well, if that was the case he probably already knows? And as a good therapist, he will probably ask you for the reasons but at the same time I hope he commends you on the strength and independence you are trying to build for yourself. That's as I said the ultimate goal of therapy anyway. So you two seem to make excellent progress.
It's okay to feel anxious about this - but I also highly recommend you allow yourself to feel all the positive that comes with this!!

Amelia

In addition to that, it might not be a good idea to encourage the suppression or disavowing needs, which can position a person to be in the same place they were or even worse, with the same problems they had before they started therapy.