The problem I see is one cannot know a person ahead of time and what people want and how they behave is often at odds; you are complaining about behavior (getting into relationships with people who don't appear healthy, respectful and have good boundaries) but what are we doing in those relationships in the first place ourselves? To be so makes us one of "them". Too, I do not see how one can avoid people who "eventually" are going to bring one down? One cannot know the people before meeting and getting to know them?

I feel like it is like being a "C" student and wanting to be around Rhodes Scholars? One first has to become a Rhode Scholar one's self and then one will naturally be around those scholars. We cannot learn to set boundaries around people who already have good boundaries.