Hello all,

I am 66 years old and when I was 37 I had an aneurism, followed a week later by a stroke. Obviously, I survived. About two months after that I had my first depression. And it came on FAST. I went to bed feeling normal (I always say normal is a button on a washing machine) and I woke up the next morning with a feeling like I had never experienced. I didn't care about ANYTHING. Not even my four children. And that scared me.

I went to a psychiatrist which was a risky thing to do in Oklahoma in 1985. I began talk therapy and it helped. After about 3 months, I began to feel terrific. "Whew!" I thought, glad that's over. but it wasn't about three months later the depression returned, and this went on for about a year.

And the pattern continued, with the depressive episodes becoming longer and the highs shorter. I got to the place where when I was high I didn't trust myself. I made all sorts of grandeos plans and then the depression would hit and I completely abandoned them. I didn't trust myself anymore, and still don't.

I began reading and actually asked my psychiatrist if he thought I was manic-depressive. (they still called it that then, or at least that's what I called it). He told me he didn't think so because my highs were not typically manic. I didn't seem to be doing anything that was self destructive, but now in looking bad, I did do a few risky things, which I will not go into! But he did put me on lithium. And that worked for awhile until I OD'd on it, so I quit taking it. I have a history of not liking to take meds.

I also always to move to a new place. I always think I will be happier there, but guess what, wherever you go, there you are. Just really very tired of this. Right now I am in a depression. We have just sold our house and are living full time in a new motorhome. Just have no idea what the future will bring. I am also overweight and do not eat right or exercise. Just had to get all this off my chest. Thanks for listening. And after reading these forums today I am going to go right out and buy some Omega 3's and Vitamin D.