I found PC just alittle while back. I am 18 years old. And in 18 years I thought it was normal the way i lived. For some reason i automatically thought everyone either lived this way or had it worse. I am awestruck. Everyone told me i was rebellious and that it was my actions that brought on any actions or verbal "abuse" from my parents. My stepdad would call me the C word when he got mad. When my stepdad adopted me (my real father didnt want me) it all went to hell. They would hold it over my head that they spend thousands of dollars to have him adopt me. And when they were mad at me they would call me by my real fathers last name. They said i was just like him (he is a drunk and abusive and mean and is very lazy) I would ask my mother if anything in the house needed done she would say no and i would get yelled at later for not doing anything and be called lazy. I flinch when people come at me even if they dont mean to hurt me. My stepdad beat me with the remote control one time when he didnt want me to watch the tv. He would rip one arm behind me and put his other hand on my face, throw me on the ground with his knee on my back and shoved my face in the carpet. I feel like its my fault. They would restrict me to certain rooms. Like they wouldnt allow me in the kitchen or in the living room. Or i wouldnt be allowed to take a shower. I feel its my fault. But its not is it?I have felt this way for so long and this wonderful site makes me wonder if it real is my fault. I still have yet to work things out with myself but i will get there one day perhaps. It makes me feel like i might be able to see a rainbow in the distance....hmm I hope this feeling lasts.