I've never been truly manic but I think you've uncovered what so many wish for but are afraid to admit. To "drop the mask" and turn off their filters. I've stuffed my feelings for so many years and tried to be what everyone wanted for so long that when I finally had a breakdown and resulting year long depression I didn't care what people thought. Luckily it didn't come at any cost but it opened my eyes.

You very eloquently wrote what I didn't realize was inside myself. I don't think you want to go through that again because of the cost but hold onto the feelings and realizations you found.