Josie's got it. I think I need to explain some of the results the last friendship I had.

She was older than I am and she liked me because of my maturity level and also we understood each other from having poor pasts. We also shared classes together and had a few other things in common such as interests and viewpoints. I know what her situation was and she was dealing with a lot.

I thought I was being kind and understanding when I would do favors for her, such as giving her food (she sometimes couldn't afford to buy food), doing small favors for her, offering to help out, and I gave her emotional support without the expectation of ever having it returned. When others would talk badly about her and I heard, I didn't spread gossip and defended her instead.

This woman was not a malicious person by nature. I think she is dealing with a lot but I've dealt with a lot too, so it in no way gives people permission to treat those close to you like crap. One time I saw her and honestly just wanted to know she was okay and she completely blew me off as if I was wasting her time. It was the way she did it which really got to me and then I started thinking about these things.

I have allowed myself to be treated poorly by others in the past because I allowed disrespectful behavior. I am the type of person who believes there is ALWAYS a better way to say something or do something, but I also cannot keep tolerating this behavior. Yes, respect is also something I value and desire. I have a mental illness too, and have struggled with it since childhood and since then have learned part of my problem is I allow these things to happen, further fueling my depressive episodes. I'd like to think of it as taking care of myself and it's something that's been neglected far too long. This last friendship was an eye opener because I decided for once, not to ignore what I thought and felt. Everyone has a bad day, and then there's just inexcusable behavior.